Omg! So much of this article are the things I have been wanting to talk about. All the things I didn't know pre-perimenopause, the incongruencues around HRT, the lack of education. The questioning 'who am I?' Thank you for articulating it all so well. Especially the nuances of taking HRT which is where I'm at now a year into treatment x
Thanks so much for reading and commenting Chloë! I’m sorry that you feel the same in that I wish *none* of us felt this way, but I’m also glad that we’re not alone and we can have these chats. Would love to read your take on your experience with menopause and especially HRT if/when you write about it (I honestly think you’d have an amazing perspective to share!).
Thank you Ingrid most of my articles speak about perimenopause in some shape or form even if not directly. In 'On The Peripherary Of Madness' I explore some of the changes in appearance and emotion you look at here. I have more targeted articles planned around my HRT journey. I too am so glad of the conversations and support, maybe together we can dream in a world where this whole physical, emotional, mental transition can be held better for women and we are given the space and support to move through it with grace.
Running to your body of work to dive in! Thanks so much for directing me. And yes please, let’s dream up that world together because I’d rather live there than here!!
I’m so grateful to HRT and it being a relatively easy road on it… not like the road up to this point which was quite frankly terrifying… a loss of self of essence and now I understand it (thanks to some brilliant educators online) and I feel 💯 behind my decision. I couldn’t find anything written about it when I first realised in was in pm and I actually said to my yoga teacher - why is no one speaking about this and she answered I feel like everyone is! I must have had blinkers up I think… still here we are and sharing a space and circle is so important! Always here for you at the other side of a dm if you want to ask anything from someone who is 4/5 months into the meds. 💛🙏
Oh Claire, I’m so very sorry for the tough time you went through, but I’m thrilled to hear that HRT is supporting you! And thank you for sharing, I think us all sharing our experiences and finding comfort in knowing we’re not alone is hugely helpful! Thank you so much for the offer, I’ll take you up on the hrt-DM 😉 xx
Great to read your writing for the first time Ingrid ♥️ And on a subject close to my heart too!
My experience has so many similarities, not least the excuses or reasons why I would be experiencing the multitude of symptoms. No one had prepared me for the countless ways I lost sight of the person I had always been and became a much less competent and emotionally labile shadow of that former self.
HRT made a real difference to me, especially the emotional side of things (anxiety, low mood, even agoraphobia at one point. 8 years on I'm finding a new confidence and opening up of possibility which wasn't there before pre-perimeno, of course this could be a passage of time thing (I'll be 55) this year (explanation again) but I think rather it is the gift of the menopausal symptoms as they prompt a radical evaluation and then emergence of my new self!
I've never felt more alive, powerful, creative, connected, loving and unapologetic about myself than now. Here's to the next chapter x
Esther, thank you so so much for sharing your experiences. I am so sorry for what you went through, it’s heartbreaking when we lose ourselves, or who we knew ourselves to be. But I don’t have words for how much I LOVE your last line and how you’re feeling now! I’m thrilled for you, and it gives me so much hope! Thank you xx
So glad you're on the HRT, Ingrid! Can't wait to hear how you feel on it, and as you know, I hard relate to the experience you have shared on the early perimenopause journey xxx
Thanks Lindsay, we’ll have to add HRT to the growing list of things to chat about 😂 and yes, I know of your experience from your writing and it’s because of people like you - having these conversations out in the open - that I feel better able to join in. Thank you 😘
And then, yes to so much, possibly to all, of what you wrote. My symptoms started showing up in up around 47 and then got seriously bad by the time I was 49, when I then finally got on HRT and it started making a difference within 2 weeks or so. I still haven't reached the 12 months of no period, am at about 9 months (but I've been at 8 months before and then it came back...), so I am taking both estrogen and progesteron. And the dosing of progesteron I was initially prescribed was too high so my boobs hurt like hell...
Brain fog was a big issue, crying for no reason during Zoom meetings (and then doctors initally telling me, it could all just be the pandemic), restless legs at night that kept me (and my partner) from sleeping.
Now single again, still perimenopausal, I feel I am less cranky and sleep better, so maybe there were other factors for some of my symptoms.
I’m ALL IN on elasticated waists and have no idea why I’ve waited this long! Thank you Rebecca, it actually does really help and comfort to know it gets better xx
Amazing article! Oh my gosh, we need to be speaking about this so much more. And like claire Venus yoga teacher, I feel like everyone is (now). Yet it’s taken until pm has become a more recognised disability to do this!
At the age of 38, I found myself disabled by an illness I’d kept quiet about for 20 years. The year after I was recommended the book Balance Your Hormones, Balance Your Life.
Everyday I am thankful for reading this book and implementing its teachings, tiny step by tiny step into my life.
It took me 3 years to feel any sense of balance in my body. I remained severely ill for 2.5 weeks a month for a further 12+ months.
Age 45, I’m 7 years on and I have not one pm symptom. Which I appreciate makes women want to punch me in the face 😆 but it did start from disability by illness and that’s where I’m seeing these talks begin to happen from.
2018 was arguably the worst year of my life - but it was also the catalyst for great change 💚🤎
Thank you for this post - I'm totally with you on the 'how do I not know anything about this?!' question. Maybe there needs to be some kind of menopause classes similar to the antenatal classes I was offered in pregnancy? Like you, menopause was not something my mum ever really spoke to me about, and she's no longer here for me to ask her. I'm reasonably sure I'm splashing about jn the shallows of perimenopause - at 43, my periods are all over the place, my hair is thinning (I had no idea this could be a symptom!) and sleep is often fleeting (with early morning writing sessions as a possible silver lining?). I think I need to get serious about tracking my symptoms so I have concrete data to take to a GP in due course.
So much resonates, Ingrid. I honestly can't remember how I worked out that I was probably in perimenopause (thanks to the bloody brain fog that I still have) but I know I went to the GP in 2019 and got roundly rebuffed when I asked for blood tests. Six months on, I found out that the NICE guidelines stipulated diagnosing based on symptoms, not bloods and went back to the GP: to be told they'd have to do blood tests. I think it all took about a year. I found a couple of useful books but this was all before the Davina documentary, and more menopause experts coming forwards. In the end it was a (male) locum at the GP and a few years subsequently, the surgeon who did my hysterectomy who really advocated for me to be on both oestrogen and testosterone. Getting prescribed the testosterone took another eight months. As someone with ADHD it's been such a battle to stay on top of all the bloods, prescriptions and rigmarole.
I've stayed under the menopause clinic, and they occasionally make suggestions: getting on to testosterone and now certain supplements they suggested have been the most useful advice and have helped with the symptoms. I wish it had been a magic solution but I dread to think what I'd be like without it!
Omg! So much of this article are the things I have been wanting to talk about. All the things I didn't know pre-perimenopause, the incongruencues around HRT, the lack of education. The questioning 'who am I?' Thank you for articulating it all so well. Especially the nuances of taking HRT which is where I'm at now a year into treatment x
Thanks so much for reading and commenting Chloë! I’m sorry that you feel the same in that I wish *none* of us felt this way, but I’m also glad that we’re not alone and we can have these chats. Would love to read your take on your experience with menopause and especially HRT if/when you write about it (I honestly think you’d have an amazing perspective to share!).
Thank you Ingrid most of my articles speak about perimenopause in some shape or form even if not directly. In 'On The Peripherary Of Madness' I explore some of the changes in appearance and emotion you look at here. I have more targeted articles planned around my HRT journey. I too am so glad of the conversations and support, maybe together we can dream in a world where this whole physical, emotional, mental transition can be held better for women and we are given the space and support to move through it with grace.
Running to your body of work to dive in! Thanks so much for directing me. And yes please, let’s dream up that world together because I’d rather live there than here!!
I’m so grateful to HRT and it being a relatively easy road on it… not like the road up to this point which was quite frankly terrifying… a loss of self of essence and now I understand it (thanks to some brilliant educators online) and I feel 💯 behind my decision. I couldn’t find anything written about it when I first realised in was in pm and I actually said to my yoga teacher - why is no one speaking about this and she answered I feel like everyone is! I must have had blinkers up I think… still here we are and sharing a space and circle is so important! Always here for you at the other side of a dm if you want to ask anything from someone who is 4/5 months into the meds. 💛🙏
Oh Claire, I’m so very sorry for the tough time you went through, but I’m thrilled to hear that HRT is supporting you! And thank you for sharing, I think us all sharing our experiences and finding comfort in knowing we’re not alone is hugely helpful! Thank you so much for the offer, I’ll take you up on the hrt-DM 😉 xx
Great to read your writing for the first time Ingrid ♥️ And on a subject close to my heart too!
My experience has so many similarities, not least the excuses or reasons why I would be experiencing the multitude of symptoms. No one had prepared me for the countless ways I lost sight of the person I had always been and became a much less competent and emotionally labile shadow of that former self.
HRT made a real difference to me, especially the emotional side of things (anxiety, low mood, even agoraphobia at one point. 8 years on I'm finding a new confidence and opening up of possibility which wasn't there before pre-perimeno, of course this could be a passage of time thing (I'll be 55) this year (explanation again) but I think rather it is the gift of the menopausal symptoms as they prompt a radical evaluation and then emergence of my new self!
I've never felt more alive, powerful, creative, connected, loving and unapologetic about myself than now. Here's to the next chapter x
Esther, thank you so so much for sharing your experiences. I am so sorry for what you went through, it’s heartbreaking when we lose ourselves, or who we knew ourselves to be. But I don’t have words for how much I LOVE your last line and how you’re feeling now! I’m thrilled for you, and it gives me so much hope! Thank you xx
So glad you're on the HRT, Ingrid! Can't wait to hear how you feel on it, and as you know, I hard relate to the experience you have shared on the early perimenopause journey xxx
Thanks Lindsay, we’ll have to add HRT to the growing list of things to chat about 😂 and yes, I know of your experience from your writing and it’s because of people like you - having these conversations out in the open - that I feel better able to join in. Thank you 😘
First, I need a sexy robe and a pineapple :-)
And then, yes to so much, possibly to all, of what you wrote. My symptoms started showing up in up around 47 and then got seriously bad by the time I was 49, when I then finally got on HRT and it started making a difference within 2 weeks or so. I still haven't reached the 12 months of no period, am at about 9 months (but I've been at 8 months before and then it came back...), so I am taking both estrogen and progesteron. And the dosing of progesteron I was initially prescribed was too high so my boobs hurt like hell...
Brain fog was a big issue, crying for no reason during Zoom meetings (and then doctors initally telling me, it could all just be the pandemic), restless legs at night that kept me (and my partner) from sleeping.
Now single again, still perimenopausal, I feel I am less cranky and sleep better, so maybe there were other factors for some of my symptoms.
Yes absolutely, I think we all need the sexy robe and pineapple 😂
Thank you so much for reading and for sharing your experiences Liza! I’m so glad the HRT started helping so quickly, that’s really encouraging news.
And yes, I agree that there are so many things at play. I’m glad you’re feeling less cranky and sleeping better, whatever the source 😉
Ah Ingrid, it does get better ❤️🩹 (but I know that’s not much consolation now). I leaned into HRT and elasticated waists. Both have served me well. X
I’m ALL IN on elasticated waists and have no idea why I’ve waited this long! Thank you Rebecca, it actually does really help and comfort to know it gets better xx
It does my love, it really does! X
Amazing article! Oh my gosh, we need to be speaking about this so much more. And like claire Venus yoga teacher, I feel like everyone is (now). Yet it’s taken until pm has become a more recognised disability to do this!
At the age of 38, I found myself disabled by an illness I’d kept quiet about for 20 years. The year after I was recommended the book Balance Your Hormones, Balance Your Life.
Everyday I am thankful for reading this book and implementing its teachings, tiny step by tiny step into my life.
It took me 3 years to feel any sense of balance in my body. I remained severely ill for 2.5 weeks a month for a further 12+ months.
Age 45, I’m 7 years on and I have not one pm symptom. Which I appreciate makes women want to punch me in the face 😆 but it did start from disability by illness and that’s where I’m seeing these talks begin to happen from.
2018 was arguably the worst year of my life - but it was also the catalyst for great change 💚🤎
Thank you for this post - I'm totally with you on the 'how do I not know anything about this?!' question. Maybe there needs to be some kind of menopause classes similar to the antenatal classes I was offered in pregnancy? Like you, menopause was not something my mum ever really spoke to me about, and she's no longer here for me to ask her. I'm reasonably sure I'm splashing about jn the shallows of perimenopause - at 43, my periods are all over the place, my hair is thinning (I had no idea this could be a symptom!) and sleep is often fleeting (with early morning writing sessions as a possible silver lining?). I think I need to get serious about tracking my symptoms so I have concrete data to take to a GP in due course.
So much resonates, Ingrid. I honestly can't remember how I worked out that I was probably in perimenopause (thanks to the bloody brain fog that I still have) but I know I went to the GP in 2019 and got roundly rebuffed when I asked for blood tests. Six months on, I found out that the NICE guidelines stipulated diagnosing based on symptoms, not bloods and went back to the GP: to be told they'd have to do blood tests. I think it all took about a year. I found a couple of useful books but this was all before the Davina documentary, and more menopause experts coming forwards. In the end it was a (male) locum at the GP and a few years subsequently, the surgeon who did my hysterectomy who really advocated for me to be on both oestrogen and testosterone. Getting prescribed the testosterone took another eight months. As someone with ADHD it's been such a battle to stay on top of all the bloods, prescriptions and rigmarole.
I've stayed under the menopause clinic, and they occasionally make suggestions: getting on to testosterone and now certain supplements they suggested have been the most useful advice and have helped with the symptoms. I wish it had been a magic solution but I dread to think what I'd be like without it!