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Georgina Pearson's avatar

“I frequently say the wrong / weird / unacceptable thing.”

Haha - me too. Although I’ve managed to control that as I’ve got older, a bit!

Was lovely to meet you last week and in the brief time we chatted, you did not come across as quiet, awkward, etc. Just a lovely human 😊

I think understanding where you get your energy from is so useful in planning where and how you spend it. ✨ don’t bother trying to find a way to be more extroverted - just be you! X

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Ingrid Fernandez's avatar

Thanks so much Georgina, and it was lovely meeting you too! Yes you’re exactly right, and I’m very much trying to lean into understanding what feeds my energy and what drains it, rather than trying to show up how I think I “should”.

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Helen Morris's avatar

I definitely think our way of peopling evolves and different situations can bring out our different parts. It was great to meet you. I really enjoyed our chat on Monday evening.

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Ingrid Fernandez's avatar

Thanks so much for reading and commenting Helen! Yes you’re right, we can sometimes react and respond with different parts of ourselves depending on the situation. Lovely chatting with you too, hope to see you at another meetup soon!

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Leila Ainge's avatar

What a fab sparkle photo! I would spend most of my time in my garden (alone) if I thought I could get away with it. I’ve just finished my third social event of May, that’s me *done* for the rest of the networking year.. and I’m off to Yorkshire without my phone for a long weekend to recover.

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Ingrid Fernandez's avatar

Yes that sparkle photo is definitely a fave! Have a wonderful time in Yorkshire, you’ve definitely earned a break!

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Milena's avatar

Such a brilliant piece, thanks Ingrid! It was great to meet you at the writing meetup, though we didn't get the chance to chat much. Hopefully next time, batteries allowing 😅

I'm still a bit confused about how I people, in my teenage years I was definitely on the introvert side, then I either forced or brought out some extroverted traits. Now that I have found out how much anxiety I store, I can clearly see the social anxiety aspect of it. I have to admit one of my least favourite things about London is walking in the crowds, I feel like I'm always in everybody's way and everybody's in mine, and I'm terrible at passing by without creating extra unnecessary commotion 😄

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Frankie Tortora's avatar

So much love, for all of this.

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Ingrid Fernandez's avatar

Thank you darling Frankie 😘

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Joanna Milne 🏺's avatar

Great article Ingrid and I was nodding along throughout.

Introverts crave connection just as much but our battery runs out faster. As a result I often think we succumb to loneliness more.

Loneliness is a topic which can’t even be understood without understanding this difference in wiring.

It’s funny, because when you described one peopling event a day, even this made me widen my eyes. This would feel huge for me. By Wednesday I think I’d feel wrung out.

Add perimenopause info the mix and it becomes even harder I think because the energy level is lower due to the hormones

It has really made me think about the connections between these two things, thank you

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Ingrid Fernandez's avatar

Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment Joanna! And yes, to be honest, I was completely flattened by Wednesday! And yes again, the perimenopause is adding a whole bunch of swerves into the road for me too, it’s a whole lot to navigate! I’m at this point of midlife, perimenopause and transition, so everything feels poised for massive change.

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Ingrid Fernandez's avatar

Thanks so much for sharing Milena, and I *completely* relate to those feelings when walking through London. As much as I love London, walking through the busy streets feels like bit of a minefield and often adds to that peopling-overload.

It was lovely meeting you too, hope to chat with you more at the next meetup!

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Wendy Varley's avatar

Very much relate to this, Ingrid! I have to pace my peopling!

Good to find your writing, via Anna W’s monthly meet-up yesterday.

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Jude Jones (they/them)'s avatar

I am like you - I find groups exhausting, but unlike you with your elaborate spreadsheet, I’ve never had the energy to push through the exhaustion. Hanging staid that. I’m also prone to accepting party invitations but never showing up (I can’t seem to learn that future me won’t be up for it).

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