Oh Ingrid, I could have written this myself (and I wish I would have!). Why do we as women feel the need, no the obligation, to justify any minute that isn’t spent serving others? I am struggling too with the whole process of ‘indulging’ myself in writing (and that’s before I have even written a word). I’d give my child my last breath so she could take one more but I struggle to justify the time and space I need to write. Is it a business or side hustle? God, no… I can hardly add up! But would I rather do this than my day job?…Hell yes! So much to process before I have even opened my laptop. Thanks so much for writing this, I loved it.
Oh Rebecca, “I’d give my child my last breath so she could take one more but I struggle to justify the time and space I need to write.” This this this! The constant need to justify our needs is *exhausting* and I’m so ready to put it all in the bin! Thank you for taking the time to read and comment so beautifully ❤️
Ingrid! I want to quote and restack every paragraph of this piece, which articulates many of my worries and fears around writing so clearly. The imposter syndrome (who would want to read my story?) which I’ve mostly quieted by focussing on the first draft being for me (I can worry about second drafts and audience and proposals later…much later if I keep writing this slowly!). The worry that I’m navel-gazing and taking time away from my family and other parts of my life to write about something that I should be over by now. The niggling feeling that I should be making my substack into a side hustle, when I want my writing to be something I do for me rather than for other people. I’m not sure i have any pearls of wisdom to share, other than keep going, keep finding those moments of time and space to writing, and try not to worry if sometimes the words come slowly or not at all - trust the momentum of continuing to show up for your writing ❤️
Thanks so much for reading and for sharing your comment Ellen! “Trust the momentum of continuing to show up for your writing” sounds exactly like a pearl of wisdom! I’m trying to quieten all this noise and keep coming back to the page. It helps so much to know I’m not alone with these wobbles! ❤️
I so relate to this, Ingrid. Not just the worries about permission to write, the demons that torment me as I wake saying 'You're wasting your time writing that memoir of yours' and the putting of others needs before mine before knuckling down to write. More so, it seems I am writing a memoir that sounds so similar to yours. Fascinated. I haven't written much about it here (yet) as I am waiting to be in a place to talk more about it. The whole process of researching and writing has been transformative in itself. If you want a glimmer of what its about, check out my post My Christmas Ghosts, or Finding the Jam in your Midlife Sandwich. And lets keep in touch!
I have experienced all of these blocks Ingrid! And I typically find myself trying to do ‘useful’ things (admin, shopping, washing etc) before I settle down to writing. But why do we do this when writing is what makes us feel so good? I have started writing first and then that sets me up for all the other jobs. Brilliant post and one that resonates so much. Thank you x
‘I would love a full cup’ ☕️ one hundred percent this, my word of the year is joy and so much of my thinking has been unlearning that joy is a reward when I’ve done the hard work. Chasing joy without guilt has been eye-opening.
Very much looking forward to your memoir, I still think about your talk at DIFTK. 💛
Oh Ingrid, I could have written this myself (and I wish I would have!). Why do we as women feel the need, no the obligation, to justify any minute that isn’t spent serving others? I am struggling too with the whole process of ‘indulging’ myself in writing (and that’s before I have even written a word). I’d give my child my last breath so she could take one more but I struggle to justify the time and space I need to write. Is it a business or side hustle? God, no… I can hardly add up! But would I rather do this than my day job?…Hell yes! So much to process before I have even opened my laptop. Thanks so much for writing this, I loved it.
Oh Rebecca, “I’d give my child my last breath so she could take one more but I struggle to justify the time and space I need to write.” This this this! The constant need to justify our needs is *exhausting* and I’m so ready to put it all in the bin! Thank you for taking the time to read and comment so beautifully ❤️
❤️
Ingrid! I want to quote and restack every paragraph of this piece, which articulates many of my worries and fears around writing so clearly. The imposter syndrome (who would want to read my story?) which I’ve mostly quieted by focussing on the first draft being for me (I can worry about second drafts and audience and proposals later…much later if I keep writing this slowly!). The worry that I’m navel-gazing and taking time away from my family and other parts of my life to write about something that I should be over by now. The niggling feeling that I should be making my substack into a side hustle, when I want my writing to be something I do for me rather than for other people. I’m not sure i have any pearls of wisdom to share, other than keep going, keep finding those moments of time and space to writing, and try not to worry if sometimes the words come slowly or not at all - trust the momentum of continuing to show up for your writing ❤️
Thanks so much for reading and for sharing your comment Ellen! “Trust the momentum of continuing to show up for your writing” sounds exactly like a pearl of wisdom! I’m trying to quieten all this noise and keep coming back to the page. It helps so much to know I’m not alone with these wobbles! ❤️
Ingrid, Celebrating your journey of writing a memoir!! Keep going, Beautiful Friend 👏😘💖
Thank you so much Catherine! I feel it will be a slow (!!) journey, but it's one I'm very happy and very grateful to be on. ♥️
Do iiiiit 👏👏👏
Thanks mate, means a lot coming from the master of doing all the things! 😘
I so relate to this, Ingrid. Not just the worries about permission to write, the demons that torment me as I wake saying 'You're wasting your time writing that memoir of yours' and the putting of others needs before mine before knuckling down to write. More so, it seems I am writing a memoir that sounds so similar to yours. Fascinated. I haven't written much about it here (yet) as I am waiting to be in a place to talk more about it. The whole process of researching and writing has been transformative in itself. If you want a glimmer of what its about, check out my post My Christmas Ghosts, or Finding the Jam in your Midlife Sandwich. And lets keep in touch!
I have experienced all of these blocks Ingrid! And I typically find myself trying to do ‘useful’ things (admin, shopping, washing etc) before I settle down to writing. But why do we do this when writing is what makes us feel so good? I have started writing first and then that sets me up for all the other jobs. Brilliant post and one that resonates so much. Thank you x
‘I would love a full cup’ ☕️ one hundred percent this, my word of the year is joy and so much of my thinking has been unlearning that joy is a reward when I’ve done the hard work. Chasing joy without guilt has been eye-opening.
Very much looking forward to your memoir, I still think about your talk at DIFTK. 💛